is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
