the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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