i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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