It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
