Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
