The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
