I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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