I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
