I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
