I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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