Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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