brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
