I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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