Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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