the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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