he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
