Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
