I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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