You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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