it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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