in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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