After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
