She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
