Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
