I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
