this just has baby written all over it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
