Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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