He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize