i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
