i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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