I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
