maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
