hotel room ftw
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
