If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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