eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
