why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
