i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
