Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
