Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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