Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
