A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
