We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
