Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
