first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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