Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
