SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The adults are the big ones right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
