I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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