I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize