Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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