She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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