i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
