his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
