2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
