he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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