i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How external is "for external use only"?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
