put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's Friday. Sex?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
