and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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